May 137 min read

Clash of the Titans

Recognising, Preventing, and Resolving Clashing Leadership Styles

What if that leadership clash or conflict of personalities was actually a dynamic force to elevate your teams performance?

Conflicts of any variety are often seen as disruptive forces, but the energy we put into these clashes, when harnessed hold the potential to forge stronger, more resilient teams if navigated with insight and strategy.

Today’s article was triggered by this collision of contrasting leadership styles, and how my client has grown herself and strengthened the team in the process.

a futuristic graphic of a woman in a super hero pose

The Case Study: Jane and John

(client has given permission, but names have been changed)

Jane, an emerging leader with a calm and supportive nature, found herself in a challenging situation with her colleague John. During a complex project, Jane aimed to incorporate John's expertise and passion. However, the interaction left her feeling undermined and patronised. Despite her well-meaning intentions, Jane's confidence took a hit, leading her to question her capabilities and consider deferring entirely to John in the future. This scenario highlights the clash between Jane's democratic leadership style and John's autocratic approach, shedding light on the broader implications for workplace dynamics.

Maybe you have heard this story before – the gentle female and the dominant male.

Neither right or wrong, just different. They each bring huge value to the team, but even with all our education, awareness and feminist values, women in the workforce still respond to a lifetime of conditioning that the man is most probably right and you are probably wrong and you should just let him take over. And our men are responding to the same conditioning and kind of assume their “rightful” position.

This is not a blame statement, but a story I see played out over and over again.

Our younger generations are way better at combating this stereotype, but it’s still there.

(~ editing note: this article was in response to a gendered, typical situation. While the language in this article references a female leader the techniques and strategies are irrelevant of gender.)

Understanding Leadership Styles

Today’s story is about Jane and John, and we are about to deep dive into their world, but for those of you playing along at home, there is a Matrix of the most typical leadership styles and their potential clash symptoms.

Back to Jane & John:

Democratic/Collegiate Leadership:

Jane embodies the democratic leadership style. She values harmony, teamwork, and prefers collaborative discussions. Jane's leadership is characterised by engaging team input, emotional awareness, empathy, and a structured, organised approach. This style is effective in creating an inclusive and participatory environment where team members feel valued and heard.

Autocratic/Bureaucratic Leadership:

In contrast, John exemplifies the autocratic leadership style. Assertive, results-oriented, and decisive, he prefers to work independently and make quick decisions. John's leadership is marked by a focus on efficiency, control, reliance on data and logic, and a structured, goal-oriented approach. This style is effective in scenarios requiring swift decision-making and clear direction.

The Disconcerting Battle of Behaviours

Sometimes the battle is loud and lively, other times it's an undercurrent of 'something’s not quite right', with variations in between. The volume is irrelevant; any discord can potentially overthrow a high-performing team, leaving them wounded on the battlefield. In Jane’s story, it was a subtle surrender rather than an all-out war.

Recognising Clashes:

When leadership styles clash, it can lead to feelings of being undermined, reduced confidence, and team tension. Indicators of such clashes include frequent misunderstandings, conflict, and a decline in team morale.

The dynamics of contrasting styles can result in power struggles, miscommunication, and an overall downward trend in the team's productivity.

We see an increase of sick leave, conversations increasingly that focus on escape (holidays, weekends). You may also notice a creeping stress response play out across the teams affected – substance abuse, sleep issues, lower energy levels and so on.

It can be confusing to determine if clashes are productive or destructive – the best way is to look for the pattern of behaviour in the aftermath. Are we seeing an uptick in productivity and energy? Or tension, stress responses and negativity?

Preventing Clashes:

Preventing clashes begins with awareness.

Recognising and understanding different leadership styles within the team is crucial. Clear, open communication is the bedrock of preventing conflicts.

Facilitate a pre-emptive strike at your next team meeting. Encourage team members to express their perspectives and listen actively to address potential issues.

This pre-emptive strike needs to be a peacekeeping mission, not setting up grey zone battlefields where everyone is at war but not a shot is fired. We need to be positive solution based and implement strategies that fit our team as individuals and as a collective, that are appropriate to our workplace and environment and support the overall goals and values of the business.

Strategies for Resolution

During a few coaching sessions with Jane we looked at the following strategies. There are of course whole playbooks of strategies for managing discord and building resilience in leaders, but for today we are going to look at what I believe are the absolute essential strategies to support our quieter leaders hold their ground.

Assertiveness Techniques:

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate your ideas, needs, and boundaries clearly and confidently, without being aggressive or passive. It's crucial for leaders as it helps them express themselves effectively while maintaining respect for others. Recognising assertiveness involves observing direct, honest, and respectful communication.

· Practical tips for developing assertiveness skills include:

· Role-Playing Exercises: Practise scenarios to build confidence.

· Use "I" Statements: Focus on expressing your own feelings and needs without blaming others.

· Maintain Eye Contact: Shows confidence and sincerity.

· Body Language: Stand or sit straight and avoid crossing your arms.

Michelle Obama, known for her assertiveness, once said, "You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it's important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages." Her ability to communicate confidently and set clear boundaries serves as a powerful example of assertiveness in action.

Feedback Mechanisms:

Feedback mechanisms involve providing constructive, timely, and specific feedback to improve performance and develop mutual respect. It's vital for collaboration, as it helps individuals understand their strengths and areas for improvement. Recognising effective feedback involves observing open, honest discussions that lead to actionable insights.

Brené Brown, a researcher and author known for her work on vulnerability and leadership, often speaks about the importance of clear and constructive feedback. She says, "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." This encapsulates the essence of providing feedback that is both direct and supportive.

simple framework that staff can use in any conversation to provide clear and constructive feedback is the BIFF framework: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. This method helps ensure that feedback is concise, useful, and delivered in a positive and respectful manner.

Confidence Building:

Confidence building involves developing a strong sense of self-belief and assurance in one’s abilities and decisions. It is crucial for leaders as it enables them to inspire and guide their teams effectively. Recognising confidence in someone can be seen through their assertiveness, decisiveness, and the ability to handle challenges calmly.

Practical tips to build confidence include:

· Positive Reinforcement: Regularly acknowledge and celebrate achievements.

· Self-Reflection: Engage in activities that promote introspection and understanding of personal strengths and areas for improvement.

· Leadership Development Programmes: Participate in training and mentorship opportunities to enhance skills and gain new perspectives.

One of my absolute favourite techniques is the superwoman pose, Amy Cuddy is the queen of the ‘power pose’ concept.

Collaboration Techniques:

Collaboration involves working together towards a common goal, leveraging diverse strengths and expertise to achieve better outcomes. It is important because it enhances creativity, improves problem-solving, and increases efficiency. Recognising collaboration can be seen in open communication, mutual respect, and shared decision-making.

Practical tips to develop collaboration skills include:

· Team-Building Activities: Organise activities that promote trust and understanding among team members.

· Collaborative Projects: Encourage team members to work together on projects that require different skills and perspectives.

· Cross-Functional Teams: Create teams with members from various departments to foster diverse viewpoints and innovation.

Elon Musk exemplifies collaboration. He stated, "Great companies are built on great products, and great products are built by great teams." His success with companies like SpaceX and Tesla highlights the importance of teamwork and leveraging diverse expertise.

Boundary Setting:

Boundary setting involves defining clear limits and expectations in professional relationships to protect personal and leadership space. It's important because it helps maintain respect, prevent burnout, and ensure a productive work environment. Recognising boundary setting can be seen in clear communication about roles, responsibilities, and limits.

Practical tips to develop boundary-setting skills include:

· Establish Clear Role Definitions: Clearly define and communicate roles and responsibilities.

· Set Expectations: Be explicit about what is acceptable and what is not.

· Boundary-Setting Workshops: Participate in or facilitate workshops that teach boundary-setting skills.

Oprah Winfrey exemplifies effective boundary setting. She once said, "You have to be the keeper of your own flame."

The above techniques sound very ‘techniquey’, in our coaching sessions Jane developed her own approach to each of these strategies, finding methods within her own style and behaviours. We focused on building and enhancing her innate strengths and wonderful personality traits. At no point did we attempt to change who she is or push her towards dominant behaviours.

Our goal was to intentionally enhance the 'real Jane', fostering a sustainable and natural leadership style. This approach ensures that she remains authentic and resilient, even when faced with challenges, rather than adopting an unsustainable imposter leadership style.

Utilising Differences for a Stronger Team

After a few weeks Jane felt empowered, she understood her strengths and the value she brought to the team and she was ready to intentionally engage the strategies in the team.

I want to highlight that her goal was to utilise the team fully, to increase productivity and achieve quality excellence.

Here are a few things she focussed on:

· Complementary Strengths: having a better appreciation for how leadership styles can complement each other and enhance team performance, she leverage the unique strengths each member and gave clear direction on what outcomes she needed.

· Building Synergy: she ran a workshop and intentionally using the disparate personality type, she set a joint goal-setting task resulted in a clear vision that the team owned and a more cohesive and effective team dynamic.

· Empowerment and Inclusivity: Jane’s team included age, gender and culture and values diversity. By publicly recognising the value each difference brought to the team, then intentionally engaging each ‘difference’ all team members felt valued and respected.

What Jane did next

She said thank you.

At the team’s regular meeting she specifically and intentionally appreciated each team members input, highlighting their unique and valuable contribution.

Jane established an attitude of gratitude in her team, creating space for her team to see the good in the other person, not the competition and disempowering behaviours.

While the difference still remain, and conflicts still erupt, they are now accepted as an opportunity to step back and review, then step back in to grow stronger.

Well done Jane.

Jane reminded me that the true potential of a team lies in its diversity. By recognising and utilising the differences in leadership styles, we can create an environment where everyone thrives and succeeds.