My Journey Through Burnout Recovery
Have you ever felt so exhausted that you forgot who you truly are?
One morning, I found myself sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at my untouched coffee, tears streaming down my face as I wondered how I had ended up here.
Burnout's deep exhaustion often leaves us disconnected from our true nature, stuck in survival mode just to get through each day. When we're in that state, it's nearly impossible to remember our core selves. Our authentic identity gets lost in the cycle of being tired and wired.
I want to share my story about the importance of setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves, and embracing our true selves before stress and exhaustion overwhelm us. From my own experience, I've realised that setbacks can help us rediscover our passions and bring out our creative, fun side.
At my lowest, burnout rendered me almost unable to run my business. My body was constantly unwell, plagued by one illness after another, and the ever-present fatigue and brain fog were debilitating. Running a business, being a good partner and mother, and maintaining a social life became impossible. Some days, I could barely muster the energy to roll out of bed.
Despite it being clear to everyone that I was rundown and burnt out, I constantly beat myself up, feeling like a failure. Giving myself self-care felt like laziness and selfishness. So, I'd try to be productive, only to crash with exhaustion.
My breakthrough came when I started a recovery program for fatigue-related illnesses. It taught me the importance of giving myself permission to engage in self-care and self-love activities. To recover, I needed to calm and relax my nervous system with something I loved—without screens.
Initially, switching off from everything was hard. Taking a moment to breathe and disengage was tough.
I was so wired into doing and achieving that I didn't know how to just 'be' for a few minutes, let alone days. I had to learn to say 'no' to things that weren't important to me. I felt lazy and selfish, needing to 'get on' and 'get back' to real life.
But the research was clear—I needed to change course, try something different, rather than push myself harder to get well. So, I began to look for activities I enjoyed as a kid, when life was less complicated and full of everyone else's expectations. I needed to find something easy, fun, and creative.
The first crucial step was letting go of the guilt about not being productive and focusing on giving my body the rest and care it needed to heal properly.
One day, I stumbled upon an old mindfulness colouring book that was gifted to me, initially dismissed as 'not my thing.' But I decided, ‘Why not give it a go?’ I dug out some coloured pencils from my ancient art supplies.
I couldn't believe the pleasure I found in using colour to transform black-and-white line drawings into lively patterns and images. Sitting at the kitchen table with my favourite music on, I felt my active mind slowing down, and things became clearer as I relaxed into the process of colouring within the lines, finding ease and calm in the moment.
However, as I began to enjoy my newfound passion for colouring, it soon became a bittersweet experience. The repetitive movement of colouring with pencils started to cause pain and fatigue in my hand, and eventually, I couldn't continue. I felt heartbroken, as it was like another thing taken away due to burnout's side effects. But because it brightened my day, I couldn't give up. I found a workaround.
Reflecting on this now, the challenges over a simple self-care activity like colouring seem unreal. But it reminds me of how far I've come on this journey.
In the end, I bought professional paintbrush pens that were less intense to use than colouring pencils. They glided effortlessly across the paper, and I enjoyed the bold, bright effects I could create. It felt fun, like returning to childhood.
I continued for a long while, experimenting with different styles of mindfulness colouring books. The most relaxing were mandalas. I loved the symbolism and meaning behind them.
After many months of mindfulness colouring, I needed a new challenge. It dawned on me that simply doing ‘mindful colouring' no longer fuelled my newfound creative spirit. I had the urge to create my own artwork that reflected my style and personality. Enter knitting, then slow stitching, and gardening.
Before you dismiss these activities as irrelevant and frivolous, let me point out that special interests or hyper-focus activities have a profound neurological impact. They enhance functional abilities and act as self-regulating mechanisms.
These aren't just pastimes—they're essential tools for recovery!
Many of you might be scoffing at the idea of colouring books, knitting, or gardening. That’s okay, I get it. So did I.
Stop for a moment and think back to your 5-year-old self, your 8-year-old self, and your 16-year-old self.
What did you love doing back then?
What could you spend hours completely engrossed in?
Uh-huh. That memory that just brought a smile to your face—grab it.
Now, how can you bring that back into your day?
It's a shame these potent recovery tools are often disregarded or criticised for their simplicity and joy. Yet, this is precisely why they are so effective.
Allowing our inner child to return to simpler processing, with repetitive movement and the requirement for complete concentration, is where the healing happens.
Stop being clever. Restart being a kid.
Ignore external negativity. Refuse to buy into the 'unproductive' guilt. Give yourself permission to engage in creative and calming activities that are right for you, right now.
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