Are you being driven off track? or full speed ahead to achieving your biggest goals?
That beautiful big goal is right there in front of you, just waiting for you to grab it ... but the self sabotage clicks in, or a string of very reasonable reasons for being stopped or side tracked. It's like your steering wheel has a mind of it's own.
And maybe you are right!
Your internal steering wheel - the 6 Core Needs - is one of the most profound unconscious driving forces to human behaviour that largely determines the direction of our lives.
Understanding the six basic core human needs allows us to see not only why we or other people do what we/they do BUT even more importantly, we can also identify the core need/s that are driving us specifically.
When you can identify which of the 6 human needs has been driving your decision making, you can start to make choices around if this is how you want to continue to meet these needs or is it time to discover new ways to meet these needs, better ways to meet your needs that are more aligned with the outcomes you want to have in your life.
If there is a conflict between a person’s goals and the capacity to meet his core need, it is the goal that gets sacrificed. The need must be met.
We can either meet our core human needs resourcefully or unresourcefully.
Meeting our needs RESOURCEFULLY means doing it in a way that aligns with our core values, and moves us closer towards the type of life we want to have.
Meeting our needs UNRESOURCEFULLY means that we may be meeting those needs at the cost of other important things in our lives like our relationships or achieving the success we want to have. It may also be that the way we are choosing to meet them does not serve our health and wellbeing or perhaps it’s not a sustainable way to meet the needs.
How we choose to meet our six core needs is unlimited.
Often, we are on auto-pilot - we aren't even doing the choosing, we are allowing our unconscious strategies that we have learnt since childhood to steer us. I don't about you, but letting 4 year old Linda steer my 50 year old self may be a lot of fun if you careening all over the countryside, not terribly effective way to reach our beautiful big goals.
We can choose a whole variety of ways to meet them whether it be from the routines we establish in our daily lives, all the way through to the types of learning and development we choose to do.
Many of our behaviours are based on trying to meet the needs which are currently not being met.
Depending on which of the basic human needs are your highest priority, if you’re not succeeding in meeting these core needs, this will have a significant impact on your overall sense of wellbeing and perhaps the quality of your life.
As strange as it may seem, people really will destroy their dreams and even break their own values to meet their unmet needs.
Understanding how our emotions and actions relate to our Six Human Needs is a key part of learning how to have more compassion for yourself and for others.
Knowing which of your six core needs is your primary motivator and how it affects your ability to manage your life and maintain healthy relationships with others and with yourself, is crucial to understand what drives you.
It can also help you better understand and manage your own behaviour so you get to be in charge of your own emotions and the quality of your life.
According to Tony Robbins, pretty much all dysfunctional behaviours arise from our inability to resourcefully meet these six basic human needs, but you don’t have to meet these needs unresourcefully. If you understand what your own needs are, then you can identify your driving force. You can then set goals for yourself and make positive behaviour changes that will align with achieving those goals.
The Six Core Needs:
Tony Robbins developed the Six Core Needs Model. According to Tony, we all have the same six needs but how we value those needs and the order in which we have them largely determines the direction of our lives.
Certainty – the need for safety, security, or comfort.
Uncertainty/Variety – the need for change
Significance – the need to feel important, special, wanted, and worthy
Connection/Love – the need for a strong feeling of closeness. Self love and self connection are also important aspects of this need.
Growth – the need to expand our capacities and capabilities.
Contribution – the need to have a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to, and supporting others.
The first four needs – certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection, are often referred to as personality needs. The last two needs – growth and contribution, are higher-order needs or spiritual needs.
Contribution is where we are giving beyond ourselves perhaps to the greater good.
Growth is where we are stepping outside of our boundaries or outside of our zone of knowledge and moving into what we don’t know.
When you understand these needs and which ones you’re trying to meet moment to moment each day, you can make different choices and you can create new patterns of behaviour that will lead you to lasting fulfillment.
We are all shaped by our individual experiences, significant life events and corresponding emotions. Our deepest needs are developed in childhood, when our minds are taking in all the information they can. This information, whether positive or negative, creates our beliefs and values – which in turn create our entire experience of reality, or the world as we know it.
As a result, we prioritise our needs differently, our decisions - conscious or unconscious - are based on which needs we put first.
While the 6 human needs are deep-seated, remember that your past is not your future unless you live there.
You get to choose to fulfil your needs in a healthy resourceful way, bringing balance to your life by developing your ability to fulfil all of your needs equally.
Is it time to check your inner steering wheel?
Are you ready to explore different choices and create new patterns of behaviour to reach your beautiful big goals?
I invite you to contact me for free discovery session, to see if Coaching is right for you, to discuss whats been driving you and how you can achieve the massive success you are searching for.
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